不想騙自己英文
很感人，感動得我幾次都要哭了~~~ 我賺分，妳賺我眼淚啊~
如果妳和這個故事有關，請像妳自己說的那樣去生活~~~
傑，我的朋友，當我聽到妳去世的消息
Jie, My friend, when I first heard about the news that you passed away,
我整個人快要瘋了 崩潰
I was about to be crazy and fall apart.
怎麽會這樣 妳撒了謊
How could it be this? You lied.
我說過 我不會原諒妳的
I told you that I won't forgive you.
我家樓下住著我初中的體育老師
Downstairs of my place lived my gym teacher of junior high school.
他很友好 我總是下樓時碰見他
He was nice. And I always met him when I went down the stairs.
連續幾天沒有碰到他了
I haven't seen him for a couple of days.
我聽說學校有壹位老師死於壹場四人車禍中 我感到不安
I heard that there was a teacher died from a car accidents involving four people. I felt uneasy.
操場上搭起了黑帳篷
Black tents were set up on the playground.
當我走近時 瞪大了眼睛 呼吸急促——他就是那四人之壹！
As I came near, my eyes were open wide, and I felt out of my breath --- He was one of the four people!
這個世界飛速旋轉，我真的應付不來
The world was spinning, and I really couldn't handle it.
傑，我不怪妳了，真的
Jie, I don't blame you any more, It's true.
因為我也沒有把握說下壹秒壹定不會死
Because I am not quite sure that I am not going be dead next munite.
所以我會好好珍惜現在的壹切
So I will cherish what the things at this moment.
呃，妳在幹什麽呢，正在看著此時的壹切嗎？
Em, What are you doing? Are you watching everything at this moment?
我在想 如果妳還只有十歲
I am thingking, that if you were just ten years old,
我該怎樣和妳說話呢，
How am I supposed to talk to you?
但那又怎樣，我們還是朋友，不是嗎？
But so what, we are friends, aren't we?
傑，我不喜歡妳說妳媽媽對妳不好，我不希望妳那樣認為
Jie, I didn't like that you said your mother didn't treat you well, I didn't hope you thought that way.
因為阿姨常常在我媽媽面前誇獎妳的
Because antie often gave you praises in front of my mom.
現在想想小孩子的感情真的是太明亮
Now when I am thinking, children's feeling were really too bright.
我以前 竟然羞於告訴妳這些的
Before, I actually shied away from telling you all these things.
現在每當我走過操場我總能看見兩個小男孩在那踢球
Now everytime I walk through the playground I can always see two little boys playing football there.
在屋頂 在夕陽下 看見妳揮手的背影
On the roof, in the sunset, I see your back waving your hands.
他們覺得我是瘋子 但我總能看見
They thought I was mad, but I can always see that.
我坐在吵吵鬧鬧的教室 想起那天我們壹起掏鳥窩然後又集體反省
Sitting in the noisy classroom, I am thinking of the day we stole the bird's nest together and reflected on that
together.
那時候 我們無憂無慮 形影不離
In those days, we were free from care, and spent all our time together.
兩個傻小孩 那時又怎會想到有今天啊？
Two little silly kids, who would have thought about today?
再也沒有人陪著我頂這大太陽去捉壹只小小的蟬了
Now nobody would go with me to net a tiny little cicada in the hot sun.
有時候 我坐在教室寫字或者做自己的事
Sometimes, I was sitting in the classroom and doing my things.
妳知道我的底線是不給別人不好的影響就好
You knew my bottom line was just no bad influence to others.
但我聽見他們在背後對我指點議論
But I heard they were pointing at me and talking about me behind my back,
鼻子裏發出難聽的聲音
With offensive noise in their noses.
我以為我不會在意這些
I thought I wouldn't care about these things.
我也從不認為他們是故意讓我聽見的
I also didn't think they let me heard about it on purpose.
但我不想騙自己說 聽見後還很開心
But I don't want to lie to myself and say I was happy after hearing it.
我很慶幸妳不用去面對這些
I am glad you don't have to face these things.
但妳在的話 或許我會好壹點
But if you were here, maybe I can be better.
因為妳知道 不是那樣的啊 事情並不如他們所說
Because you know, it was not like that, things were not like what they said.
我的日記本 寫滿了關於妳的記憶
My diary book, is full of the memoris about you.
2000年05月20日
壹只白色的美麗的蝴蝶繞著我不肯離去
A beautiful white butterfly was flying around me and wouldn't leave.
我知道，那是妳，對吧？
I knew, that was you, right?
“有什麽要說的嗎，想和我說什麽呢？”
"Is there anything to say, anything you want to tell me?"
我聽說了關於蝴蝶對於感情的執著
I heard about butterfly's attachment to their emotion.
他們對我說感情可以去餵狗
They said to me that emotion can feed the dog.
我卻覺得 沒有比感情更珍貴的東西了。
But I feel, there is nothing more precious than emotion.
我知道，那只蝴蝶是妳
I knew, that butterfly was you.
在夏天來臨之前 我又能看見妳的影子了
Before the summer, I can see your shadow again.
我知道那些蟬音都是妳小子放飛的
I knew those cicadas were set free by you kid.
呵呵(苦笑) 妳真的不夠意思
Hehe(forced smile), you were really being mean.
說好了長大住在壹起 卻早早離去
We agreed to live under the same roof when we grew up, but you left me so early.
對了,上次我看見妳的妹妹了
By the way, I saw you sister last time.
很可愛，簡直和妳壹個模樣哦
She is very cute, and simply has the same look as you.
在阿姨過來之前我很快離開了
I am leaving very soon before antie comes here.
因為怕他看見我，想起妳啊.
Because I am afraid I'll remind her of thinking of you.
放心，我會告訴妳妹妹有這樣壹個哥哥的
Don't worry, I will tell your sister that she had such a brother.
這幾天 天氣壹直不太好
The weather has not been good these days.
窗外下著雨，是妳哭了麽？
It is raining outside of the window. Is it that you are crying?
小男子漢,哭什麽呢?
Little man, what are you crying for?
我不是好好的嗎,
Am I not good here?
我會勇敢的面對這壹切的!
I will face everything bravely!
還有,我會教會妳遊泳的。
And, I will teach you how to swim.